| I have my own theory on global warming. It's every bit as plausible as Al Gore's. I can even find some evidence I can make fit my theory. Are we all seated comfortably? Then let's begin.
There's a parallel Earth. It used to be in sync with our Earth and everything that happened here, happened there. But because of things like the Heisenberg principle, man has caused a slight difference on the quantum level between the 2 worlds. We can measure an objects location, speed, and rate of acceleration, but we can't know all 3 at once. And the act of observing something changes the quantum state. We delved into science too deep and this is the result. Quantum differences between our world and the parallel Earth have set up a harmonic resonance. This resonance is causing friction that is raising the Earth's temperature. And again, this is all man's fault. We must reduce our science footprint. At least trade science credits that will lower our overall use of science.
It's so simple, and I have consensus on this.
I am ready to accept my Academy award and Nobel Peace Prize.
Thank you very much
Vegetable rights and peace,
Denny Crane
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