[Craig]

It always seems that I get the itch to create a Seven editorial over something that I wish didn't deserve it so much. This entry is absolutely no different...it brings me so much pain but it must be done...

7 Things That Make Me Think Crysis Will Phail Out Loud...

1: Hardware Requirements

Did they really think that anyone would be able to play this game at a decent resolution with any kind of detail turned up in the game? I mean let's face it, the game was predicated on the idea that graphics and physics were going to take a quantum leap with the Crytek engine. They jammed down our throats just how interactive the game really is with its destroyable foliage, its bullet unfriendly jeep tires and the ability to throw people through buildings.

Well that's all good and nice, but unless you're rocking a quad core system and dual 8800GTX or Ultra Nvidia graphics cards, about the most tossing of enemies you'll be doing is late at night with a box of tissues and the latest Maxim magazine.

I have a pretty diesel system by most accounts. Not to brag because I was at least a year overdue for an upgrade when I did bite the bullet (ok, and get the lady's approval) earlier this year. I ended up with the following:

OCZ Platinum 2GB (2 x 1GB) 240-Pin DDR2 SDRAM DDR2 800 (PC2 6400) Dual Channel Kit Desktop Memory Model OCZ2P8002GK - Retail
Item #: N82E16820227089
Intel Core 2 Duo E6600 Conroe 2.4GHz LGA 775 Processor Model BX80557E6600 - Retail
Item #: N82E16819115003
Creative Sound Blaster X-Fi XtremeGamer 7.1 Channels PCI Interface Sound Card - Retail
Item #: N82E16829102006
BFG Tech BFGR88768GTXOC2E GeForce 8800GTX 768MB GDDR3 PCI Express x16 HDCP Video Card - Retail
Item #: N82E16814143093

So you'd think with that kind of gas in the tank I'd be able to enjoy Crysis with the settings it automatically detected for me when I fired it up, right? Well, think again. Even when I let the game auto-detect for itself the best settings for my hardware, it played with such framing characteristics that my eyes felt like someone had reached in and gave them a full 360 degree turn with a pair of pliers after only 15 minutes of playing the game.

Until Nvidia or ATi (ya, sure, like ATi is even on the damn radar anymore when it comes to high end graphics) give us a new single slot GPU solution that can handle Crysis with some of the eye candy turned on, I'm pretty sure this game is going to suck for those of us that spend just under the going price for dual graphics cards in our PC's but still demand advanced resolutions and graphic settings in our games.

2: Artificial Intelligence

So whoever was responsible for making sure that code writers for the artificial intelligence in Crysis were actually showing up at work and doing something should have their vision checked. I'll let our own Dopefish give you an idea to the leetness of all that is Crysis AI:

Originally Posted by Dopefish

The AI is completely retarded. You shoot at them from a distance and all they do is turn their back to you and strafe left and right. It's really dumb.

This certainly echoes my my experience with the demo, and it's obvious that the demo AI code is what we're going to get in the full version of the game.

Though it should be noted that there was at least one preview of the full game where they found the AI to be acceptable. But to be honest, I'm not too sure the reviewer was focuses on the AI as much as the story and graphics.

3. Environmental Lighting

This one might not seem like such a big deal but to tout your game as tehomfgzzuberestt graphics fest of all kingdom come and to have the lighting be so lame as to constantly come from one source in the sky...well, that's just stupid.

For example, if you're walking around at night with a flashlight on your gun and approach something for which you're going to shine your light on it, the shadow does not come from your flashlight, but from the moon above you.

Same deal if you look down at your shadow near a light source such as a lamp or another player (the uber AI in the case of the demo), you'll see your shadow being cast by the moon.

Uhhh...is this just an oversight in the demo? Like the fact that AA cannot be enabled (and why the f00k not?!) or something?

4. Lame Weapons

The thing is, I'm not talking about the weapons themselves, or the kick ass add-ons you can equip them with such as a silencer, flashlight or special scope. Because truly, that is a strength of this game if there is one to be found. It's the fact that I stood no more than 50 feet from an enemy (again, the uber AI that looked right at me but didn't fire, just stood in one place calling out that an enemy was near) and unloaded two full clips into him, while always aiming at the head and chest, and still...he didn't die.

Now I know I hit him nearly every other shot because I was using burst fire, the laser scope add-on, and heard the enemy give the obligatory AI grunt that he'd been hit. It was only when I switched to the pistol and tore off five or so quick shots, barely even aiming this time, that he went down.

Now I know I'm not the sharpest shot in the clip, but come on, that guy should have gone down like a lead balloon. The fact that this happened twice more, albeit not the this extreme degree I will admit, that I have to wonder what's up with the guns, their power, hit boxes and if any of that is tied into the frame-fest graphics that Crysis itself suggested I run while playing.

5. New Drivers, Just To Play A Demo?

I will admit that loading new drivers for a new game is nothing new. But usually, when you install them there's not only added performance for the new app you're trying to enjoy, but they're backwards compatible with the previous driver set so that the rest of your gaming library does not explode when you try to play something else.

I'll let Ech0 explain how things went for him as they did for me with the beta drivers we were strongly suggested to install to play this demo:

Dont use the new new drivers! they are crap!

Well said sir...in short, I had more than a few graphics bugs in some games and could flat out not load others.

The coordination between EA/Crytek and Nvidia on this game is surely not Nvidia's fault. It is my guess that EA (yes, good old EA) decided to shove this demo out the door poorly optimized and in dire need of a beta driver fix for Nvidia cards which, let's face it, dominate today's PC market. I can see Nvidia doing their best to get drivers out as fast as they can to take care of their customers, but at the end of the day, just not being able to test them as much as they would have liked to.

Such was the demo...and if history is any indication as to how this release will go, EA will blast it out the door faster than anyone, including the Crytek and Nvidia camps, would have like to have seen it go just to meet a deadline. Ahh, to be ruled by shareholders and accountants.

6. Call Of Duty 4 Fucking Owns!

Let's just put this one to bed before before any rumors can even start, shall we? Call Of Duty not only looks way better than Crysis (even Crysis in DX10 mode) but it looks extremely sweet on not only newer graphics cards, but older ones as well.

Obviously some of that may have to do with this being a console title as well as a PC release. If Infinity Ward can pump out a game that is about as real an experience as we've ever seen as PC gamers, but still runs like glass on an XBox360 with age old ATi graphics, then can't Crysis in all of its hype and glory do the same??

I'll make a secondary prediction here that I feel will be the reality in six months from now...there will be ten times as many people online and playing Call Of Duty 4 as there are Crysis multi-player, and I'll even exclude console jockeys from that list.

Talk about bad timing...if Crysis had any chance of being a multi-player game with some longevity, it sure is hitting shelves at the wrong time. Team-Fortress 2, Quake Wars (ya, even that huge disappointment) and Halo 3 are all games that are going to stomp Cyrsis's dreams of being the Saturday night LAN get together's game of choice into a fine, powdery substance.

7. Frankly, The Demo Sucks...And So Does EA Games

Think about it, it runs like dog shit even on a high end system, requires hacked up drivers to load up and be remotely playable, has AI that is obviously coded to act like Ray Charles, fails at the graphics realism that the entire Crytek engine was created to bring to life, has glitchy guns and hit boxes, and to top it off is being distributed by the absolute worst company in the world to team up with on an FPS title...EA Games.

EA destroyed what was arguably the greatest squad based shooter of all time up to that point in the Battlefield franchise with terrible patch and community support. There's absolutely no doubt in my mind the same crappy support will happen here. EA will dump their support team of sweat shop coders (who let's face it, are a bit plus to a team like Crytek looking to partner up with a distributor who can help get a game out the door) who would probably have done some good in supporting patches and the like as soon as they get wind of the next project that can help support their never-ending demand of profits over game integrity.

If I was Crytek I'd be doing everything I could to separate myself from EA if I considered making anything long-lasting out of the Far Cry/Crysis series of games. EA has long worn out its welcome with the hardcore gamers who, after all, are the ones who rush out to buy not only games like this, but the hardware to support them.

So there it is...the Seven 7hings that make me think Crysis has a one way ticket to Phailsville. Would I like to be wrong? Shit yes. Do I think I am? Well, would I have taken the time to write this if I didn't think I was?

I'll leave you with some screenshots of the demo taken by our own Relly, the uber-gamzor-pimp from NYC representin' y0!