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Thread: Editorial: Three Reasons You Girls Should Want To Date Us Gamers

  1. #1
    m00tini! wootini's Avatar
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    Nov 2003
    Some Hotel Somewhere

    Editorial: Three Reasons You Girls Should Want To Date Us Gamers

    Three Reasons You Girls Should Want To Date Gamers

    Without a doubt, one of the most misunderstood classifications of geeks today are gamers. Were geeks to be considered a class of the homo sapien species, then surely gamers would come in as a top ranking phylum for their innate abilities and attributes learned from spending so much time in front of video games. Such skills as hand/eye coordination, problem solving, crafting, strafe jumping, camping and off the cuff witty banter are just a few of the more prominently displayed characteristics of today's average gamer.

    But let us not dwell on the things that make gamers great, yet let us discuss why said pixel adventurers are without a doubt the most uber of all when it comes to being a partner for the females out there in today's fast paced social environment.

    One: Gamers will never lie about where they were while you were working late at night.

    Face it ladies, one of the biggest problems with dating those oh-so-sought-after jock types or the guys that all the ladies swoon over at the gym is that if you turn your head for a second, they're already working on the next chisel mark for their headboard. So what's to stop them from heading out to a club or even a men's club while you're burning the midnight oil at work to help your company make it's quarterly numbers? You might as well consider your hunky man's little soldier already soft and wet by the time your 10pm Chinese food takeout arrives. Just when you're about to break out the eggrolls, another lady somewhere else couldn't take another bite of his if her life depended on it.

    Now if you were dating a gamer on the other hand, there would be absolutely no doubt as to how the night would go. First off, your man would be posting on chat boards all day from work and talking about how he's going to be able to game all night long since his woman will be working late. Then later at home, he would be sure that everything on his honey-do list was done before he even sat down at the computer/console, because all gamer men know that there will be hell to pay if you come home and the chores aren't done and we're fifteen levels higher in our favorite RPG title and there is no more soda or snacks in the pantry.

    As a women dating a gamer, you can also rest assured that your man isn't out throwing money at strange, greased up women that fling themselves around a pole for a living. Hell, that's good money that can go towards a better set of headphone and/or video card. Gamer guys have priorities and the only dancing they will be seeing or prostitutes they will be picking up will be in GTA IV.

    (Gamers prefer PS3 demo stations to boobage, no homo)

    Gamer guys are good with their hands.

    Look girls, you know that annoying mouse clicking and keyboard button smashing noise you hate so much while you're trying to get work done in the other room? Well that is the sound of two highly skilled sex apparatuses being tuned to their highest degree of perfection. It takes strong, steady and coordinated hands to please today's high maintenance woman, whether it be working around the house on repair duties, or hammering away in the bedroom with fists of fury ala Bruce Lee.

    Today's gamer is well equipped to handle all of your lady parts with the skill and precision that only a well seasoned luthier of the keyboard, mouse and gamepad can assure. While your jock boyfriends is throwing around 50 lb dumbbells and training himself to toss you around like an old rag, your pasty white gamer is preparing to play a smooth symphony of love and eroticism with your girly gander parts like the Beethoven of the bedroom he is.

    (That could be you ladies!)

    A gamer will never leave you if you do one simple thing (and no, not that thing... although that's always welcomed too!)

    Pro-tip from a long time and happily married gamer who's wife figured it out years ago: Just let us play games a few times a week for as long into the night as we want and we will be as faithful as a Mississippi bloodhound to you for the rest of our lives! We don't need to game every night, hell, we don't even need to game every week as we get older and other responsibilities like mortgages and kids become part of our lives. But we do need to let loose when the need beckons. When our gamer gene starts twitching and we need a fix, just let us itch it for as long as we want, albeit in moderation.

    Those horror stories you hear about guys playing video games for days on end until they die are usually because the guy is some fat, unhappy slob with no girlfriend to begin with. Guys with jobs, school work and other real responsibilities are not only great boyfriends because they're well rounded individuals with varying interests in the world, but because they also have the ability to put down the joystick to breath in that fresh air known as reality from time to time.

    Just let us get our game on when we need it, in front of a PC or gaming console setup we can be proud of, chomping down on our gaming-grub of choice for the night and we will always be there for you when you really need us. Guys that play video games are the most loyal of all of God's creatures to a woman when we're given the ability to be who we are at heart, gamers. We will love, cherish and adore you till the day is long and there are no more boards or imps to hack/slash to death. Let us be us, and we'll let you be you. You will be a happy girl knowing that your boyfriend pwns nubs, but at the end of the day, still comes home to you. He will always come home to his princess as the victor to bask in the triumph only genuine pixel jockeys like us will ever truly understand.
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    Last edited by wootini; 09-15-2008 at 07:08 PM.

  2. #2
    may the Bruce be with you CoffeeShark's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    some western town
    my wife finally figured out the last one.

    hilarious article.

  3. #3
    Assault Whore bacon_x's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    haha awesome craig


    Originally Posted by DennyCrane
    Halfway through, the loss of Assault, Frank, ASG clan, etc hit him and he wept in his maple syrup puddle.

  4. #4
    STI Aznsharpshooter5's Avatar
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    Sep 2006
    Haha, Great article. I wish more girls would think that way =)

  5. #5
    Gimme ur moneyz...NOW!!! NoobToast's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    The Dairy State

    So true though, a few of my jock-o friends went through relationships like water cause they'd go party and end up screwing around with another girl...pretty sure you can figure out the rest.
    TF2 Addict

  6. #6
    Registered User No-Fear's Avatar
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    Jan 2006
    This is epic win. Craig you are a genius. I just emailed this to my girlfriend
    Antec Nine Hundred HomebrewV2.9.1 | Intel Core 2 Extreme QX9650 @ 3.4ghz |4gb 800mhz ddr2 corsair xms2 led ram | WD VelociRaptor 300gb(x3) |Dual 1GB GeForce GTX 285 XXX Cards | Asus Striker Extreme | 1000Watt Enermax Galaxy | Windows 7 Pro | Sony Bravia 32' LCD | Windows 7 Performance Score 6.9 |3d Mark 06 23,106 |

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  7. #7
    Hogbitch Sleepy's Avatar
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    Jan 2006

    my better half will most definitely read, i hope, at the first opportunity.

    + rep for a man that put into words what most of us can only dream of.

  8. #8
    ALTMAN BE PRAISED Dopefish's Avatar
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    Apr 2006
    USG Ishimura
    Great write-up.

    “or hammering away in the bedroom with fists of fury ala Bruce Lee.”

  9. #9
    ZOMG! My AK IS PINK! O.o pinkfluff's Avatar
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    Mar 2007
    I <3 this editorial lol... Im gonna send it to all my lady friends xD

  10. #10
    BadDog K_Dog's Avatar
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    Nov 2006
    great read.

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