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08-18-2007, 03:16 PM
|  | Call my Slappy | | Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Gotham...well, the outskirts.
Posts: 124
| | | Silly article: "Americans Shouldn't Cosplay"
Quote:
Americans Shouldn't Cosplay
I’m totally going to get sued for tonight’s post, but I can’t let this go on any longer.
Let me begin by explaining what ‘cosplay’ is for those of you who don’t know; cosplay is a conjunction of the words ‘costume’ and ‘play.’ Fanboys and fangirls dress up like their favorite characters and go to conventions and show of the awesomeness of how much they look like their fantasy counterparts (be it video games, anime, manga, movies, etc.).
I’m here to say that this should be banned in America, my reasons for this statement follow.
I’m going to name the character and his/her origin, post a picture of that actual character, show you a good example of cosplay for that character (from japan) and finish each character with the American version. Please bear with me as I almost pissed myself from laughing multiple times ‘researching’ for this article.
Cloud from Final Fantasy VII:
The good:
The American:
Next up is Sepiroth from Final Fantasy VII:
The Good:
The American:
Now behold Vincent, another fan favorite from Final Fantasy VII:
Not only is this good one good, it’s fantastic:
The American:
Okay, okay, I have another Final Fantasy VII character for you guys, here’s Tifa:
The Good:
The above picture is NOT, I repeat, NOT, from the movie! She is a real person and, by far, the best Tifa cosplayer ever. I don’t care if she was paid by Square or not, she’s still a killer Tifa. Not much information is known about her, but she is the real deal, yo.
The American:
Yeah, it matches the picture for the costume a little closer, but watch Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children and then tell me otherwise.
Okay, on to another game (same series though, I’m sorry…): Final Fantasy X-2’s Yuna!
The Good:
The American:
Moving on to another Final Fantasy X-2 character, we have Rikku:
The Good:
The American:
Okay, finally moving away from the Final Fantasy series, we have the sailor girls from the Sailor Moon series:
The Good:
The American:
The boy in the front of that picture is especially creepy. That is a boy, right? Right?
Next up for all you current anime fans, the Naruto series:
The Good:
The American:
I don’t know who the guy in the middle is, but he’s balding. That is all.
Here is Rei Ayanami from the Evangelion series:
The Good:
The American:
There is so much to point out in this picture… I just want you guys to look this one over like you’re six years old again looking for Waldo… I almost feel bad for posting this image… Almost… I also almost had a heart attack when I came across this gangster ass photo of the American Rei.
Hypothesis:
American’s shouldn’t cosplay, otherwise eyes might erode.
Conclusion:
American’s shouldn’t cosplay, otherwise the world might end.
I’m ready to go slam my face into a pillar, the longer I type with the American Rei Ayanami on the screen the further into nausea I delve.
Ugh.
| Morbid Optimism: How I See Fit. » Americans Shouldn’t Cosplay. 
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When I was 5 years old, my mom always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down “happy.” They told me I didn’t understand the assignment and I told them they didn’t understand life.
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08-18-2007, 04:14 PM
|  | Note: Huge Success | | Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: New England
Posts: 25,213
| | | the american tifa has big ones
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08-18-2007, 04:17 PM
|  | Hogbitch | | Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Ithaca
Posts: 2,018
| | | i want to move to japan! :rofl:
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08-18-2007, 04:18 PM
|  | Booger! | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Narnia
Posts: 42,750
| | | Those freaks forfeit their rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
BURN 'EM WITH FIRE!
They're about as bad as those god damn furries.
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08-18-2007, 04:39 PM
|  | m00tini! | | Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Some Hotel Somewhere
Posts: 23,924
| | | hahah great post! |
08-18-2007, 04:46 PM
|  | All Hail Jesus Frankenstein | | Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: some western town
Posts: 34,604
| | | rofl
but are they considered losers in Japan, too?
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08-18-2007, 05:43 PM
|  | This...is a rocket launcher | | Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: DeeDot SeaDot
Posts: 4,836
| | That was a train wreck.
Denny - 
Tao |
08-18-2007, 05:48 PM
| | Booger! | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Narnia
Posts: 42,750
| | | I'll just lump them all together.
Cosplay and furries are the cancer that's killing the internet.
__________________ CS:S admin. PM DennyCrane for assistance.
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08-18-2007, 06:06 PM
|  | zomg killer klown! | | Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Redmond
Posts: 907
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uzumaki... ...spiraling into madness
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08-18-2007, 06:23 PM
| | Booger! | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Narnia
Posts: 42,750
| | I disagree. These are the people who've moved back with their parents and never leave again. These are the people with mall jobs well into their 30s. These are the people who likely catch fire if in direct sunlight for more than a few moments.
And again, I draw the parallel to "furries"
They must all be stopped for the good of our collective gene pool 
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Last edited by DennyCrane; 08-18-2007 at 06:25 PM.
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