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01-15-2009, 02:31 PM
|  | The Tux | | Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Inside The StrafeRight.com Webserver.
Posts: 11,134
| | | Craigslist Posting: To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Savannah, GA)
This has got to be the greatest Craigslist ad i have ever seen. Unfortunately its been removed from Craigslist, but I've found a copy of it elsewhere.
craigslist.org [?]Date:
2009-01-06, 3:43AM EST
I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize.
I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?
I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants.
I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster.
I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that.
I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.
So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry. Peace! - Alex
Im curious what a Kimber 1911 .45 ACP looks like. I don't think I've ever seen one, though i could be wrong.
__________________ 
"Teck will be working on God's forum" -VincentVega
"...and I like killing zombies and Cap'n Crunch. you put those two together and you've got one LETHAL-ASS good time combo" -DanFortH
"An SQL query walks into a full bar and sees two tables in the corner, so he walks up to them and says... `Mind if I join you?`" -Evill
"teck is the noobest leet guy I've ever met" -CoffeeShark
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01-15-2009, 02:34 PM
|  | All Hail Jesus Frankenstein | | Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: some western town
Posts: 34,584
| | | Kimbers are nice, but expensive. Usually a little more showy than I like, wood grips, chromed slides, vents, etc.
__________________  Admin - sR Source servers . |
01-15-2009, 02:34 PM
|  | Jack pwns my FACE | | Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Well above sea level.
Posts: 15,019
| | | Rofl
__________________ "Good...Bad...I'm the guy with the gun." Quote: |
Originally Posted by Denny Crane That's now my pat answer for anything the Office Idiot says to me... "I have balls of steel... I have balls of steel.. ballsballsballsballsballs.... Blow it out your ass" | |
01-15-2009, 02:35 PM
|  | living the clean life | | Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 14,880
| | | this brings a smile to my face!
__________________  |
01-15-2009, 02:44 PM
|  | Quit | | Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: NY state
Posts: 2,350
| | | That's is funny, of course he could be arrested for using the gas card, but it's still funny.
__________________ XFX 680i LT SLI motherboard,Core 2 quad@2.8,Apevia Iceburg 680w psu,xfx9800GTX 512 DDR3 ram,4 gigs Cosair ddr2 ram @ 800mh,Apollo NZXT case.  |
01-15-2009, 02:45 PM
| | All Hail Jesus Frankenstein | | Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: some western town
Posts: 34,584
| | I think all property on the criminal at the time should belong to the victim. I mean, the original victim 
__________________ Admin - sR Source servers . |
01-15-2009, 02:52 PM
| | Quit | | Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: NY state
Posts: 2,350
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by CoffeeShark  I think all property on the criminal at the time should belong to the victim. I mean, the original victim | I hear ya but they both sound like criminals.
__________________ XFX 680i LT SLI motherboard,Core 2 quad@2.8,Apevia Iceburg 680w psu,xfx9800GTX 512 DDR3 ram,4 gigs Cosair ddr2 ram @ 800mh,Apollo NZXT case. |
01-15-2009, 02:54 PM
| | The Tux | | Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Inside The StrafeRight.com Webserver.
Posts: 11,134
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Rage1 That's is funny, of course he could be arrested for using the gas card, but it's still funny. | Theres NO WAY that the mugger will go to the police and be like... "Well i decided to mug this couple and next thing i knew he pulled this huge gun on me... I shit my pants like so crazy hard you know... So then he took my phone, wallet, and my shoes! MY SHOES!... So the next day i was seeing all these charges on my card and i was like WTF!"
Seriously... He will never go to the police. No DA or ADA would ever take a case like that against the victim of a mugging. They would go after the mugger, but...
__________________
"Teck will be working on God's forum" -VincentVega
"...and I like killing zombies and Cap'n Crunch. you put those two together and you've got one LETHAL-ASS good time combo" -DanFortH
"An SQL query walks into a full bar and sees two tables in the corner, so he walks up to them and says... `Mind if I join you?`" -Evill
"teck is the noobest leet guy I've ever met" -CoffeeShark
|
01-15-2009, 02:59 PM
|  | Mothman31B20 | | Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: AK-rowdy, Ohio
Posts: 1,018
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Teck Theres NO WAY that the mugger will go to the police and be like... "Well i decided to mug this couple and next thing i knew he pulled this huge gun on me... I shit my pants like so crazy hard you know... So then he took my phone, wallet, and my shoes! MY SHOES!... So the next day i was seeing all these charges on my card and i was like WTF!"
Seriously... He will never go to the police. No DA or ADA would ever take a case like that against the victim of a mugging. They would go after the mugger, but... | He could always go to the police and claim he was the one mugged and point towards the charges on his card and calls on his cell as evidence
__________________ I am the tip of the Muffin, the first line of defense to America's future by giving confirmed terrorists muffins  |
01-15-2009, 03:00 PM
|  | m00tini! | | Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Some Hotel Somewhere
Posts: 23,921
| | | sweet! now i can get my cell phone back :d | | |
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