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Thread: The P.W.T.F.Y.W.A.M.S.S.L. Thread

  1. #6501
    Jack pwns my FACE FuzzyLogik's Avatar
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    Re: The P.W.T.F.Y.W.A.M.S.S.L. Thread

    annd morning all!
    "Good...Bad...I'm the guy with the gun."

  2. #6502
    C-57D VincentVega's Avatar
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    Re: The P.W.T.F.Y.W.A.M.S.S.L. Thread

    merning

  3. #6503
    Jack pwns my FACE FuzzyLogik's Avatar
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    Re: The P.W.T.F.Y.W.A.M.S.S.L. Thread

    err, crap - good afternoon lol wheu, weekend almost here...
    "Good...Bad...I'm the guy with the gun."

  4. #6504
    C-57D VincentVega's Avatar
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    Re: The P.W.T.F.Y.W.A.M.S.S.L. Thread

    T G I F x 10

  5. #6505
    C-57D VincentVega's Avatar
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    Re: The P.W.T.F.Y.W.A.M.S.S.L. Thread

    And you thought it was bad living here

    https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/793132...ason-drinking/

  6. #6506
    WHERE IS GOD?!?! DennyCrane's Avatar
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    Re: The P.W.T.F.Y.W.A.M.S.S.L. Thread

    Good Lord, Vega...wtf

    Morrin! How ya durrin?
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  7. #6507
    WHERE IS GOD?!?! DennyCrane's Avatar
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    Re: The P.W.T.F.Y.W.A.M.S.S.L. Thread

    I don't know if I ever posted this here, at least in it's entirety. But I was asked to write a funny story that was true, so I sat down and write it all out. It's the story of how I tried to get kicked out of a Star Trek convention:

    It's no secret that I am a trekkie. But I have the awareness to know that's a real geeky thing to be... and full of cringe. That's why I use the word "trekkie". Other trekkies hate it. They prefer to be called "trekkers". Please. We're Star Trek geeks. Own it.

    I worked with an even bigger trekkie. He told me there was a convention coming to town and asked if I wanted to go. Of COURSE!!! So we got tickets for us, a friend of mine and my coworker's brother in law. The day arrived and we headed over to a larger local hotel that had some pretty expansive convention facilities. We were a bit early and were hanging out in the lobby. Soon, an entourage walked through and they were obviously giving the VIP treatment to this short, quirky bald guy that was a dead-ringer for George Costanza from Seinfeld... no idea who it was at the time. Then the convention opened up. There was a main hall with lots of seating and a stage. No one was speaking yet so we wandered around.

    In an out of the way hallway, at the very end, was a sad little card table set up with a sad old man in a folding chair. It was Mark Goddard. He played Major West in the 1960s campy sci fi show Lost In Space. It made me sad. BUT, my coworker lit up like a kid on Christmas. HE was a huge Lost in Space geek. And collected the heck out of whatever merchandising there was. He sprinted to his car to go home to bring back lots of stuff for this guy to sign... I was hoping the rest of the con was not going to be like this.

    I should point out that a main reason for me wanting to go, aside from being a huge Star Trek nerd, was to get kicked out. I'd been kicked out of a lot of places for varying reasons... none of which were really my fault. Most of all, the reason was for having "long hair and a rock band image". Yay!!! But I thought it would be hilarious to get kicked out of a Star Trek convention. I would see what I wanted to see, then try some stunt that would get me booted out.

    But, we were still looking around. We found the venders area. Another friend who didn't want to go was a big Xena- Warrior Princess fan. There was a vendor who had lots of Xena stuff...including a metal replica of that disk thingie she wanged people in the head with or whatever. But that wasn't cheap so we settled for getting him a couple 8x10 color pictures of Xena and her cute little blonde friend chick.

    THEN, I spotted a vendor who was selling DVDs and VHS tapes of anything and everything Star Trek related. On a TV, they were running a video of Shatner playing himself at a Star Trek convention on SNL. If you haven't seen it, you need to see it. They ask the geekiest questions and eventually Shatner starts yelling at them to "GET A LIFE!" Absolutely hilarious. I was almost in tears, I was laughing so hard. BUT, next to me were 2 hard-core trekkies who were really pissed, saying things like "I can't BELIEVE Bill Shatner would do such a thing!!!" Well, it was a lil early, but why not. I started tearing into them. I told them the video was 100% accurate, and they should GET A LIFE! And, I used some of Shatners own lines from the skit, like "YOU. Have you ever even kissed a girl?" and asked about living in their parent's basement. I did it quite loudly. They turned red and walked away. No one else seemed to notice. Oh well.

    The talks in the convenstion stage area started... I can't remember the exact order, but one talk was by 2 overweight people in Klingon costumes discussing the "Klingon language" and poorly demonstrating those curvy Klingony sword thingies. THEY ACTUALLY WERE SAYING THE WRITERS AND ACTORS WERE USING THE KLINGON LANGUAGE WRONG. When the Q&A session at the end started, I called them on it. I asked how the people who WROTE THE DAMN FAKE LANGUAGE and the actors that FIRST USED IT could be wrong. I followed up their non-answers by asking them if they understood that it was just a bunch of TV shows and movies, right? No one took the bait and they moved on to other people's questions.

    Walter Koenig, the dude who played Chekov, was on stage at some point. He was mostly boring, and was phoning it in. He even left the stage for awhile as they played a video of him talking about the show. Apparently, the same video was played every time he went to a convention, and he couldn't be bothered to talk about anything new. The only entertaining part was when he talked about a phone call to George Takai (Sulu) after Star Trek V: The Final Insult kinda flopped in the theaters. Koenig, despite anything else, can do a spot-on impersonation of Takai. He related the phone call, and how it eventually led up to the future of the franchise:

    WALTER! What's HAPPENING with the next movie???
    The next movie will be in claymation
    ...
    (longer pause)
    ...
    Will they want us to do the voices?
    That was about all there was. He did not take questions. It was mostly unsatisfying. After they talk, the guests generally go to a table and sign autographs. Our ticket level included a picture and autograph from a couple speakers, Koenig included. I was really looking forward to talking to him, even if just for a minute. We waited in line, and when it was my turn, I told him how awesome I thought he was in all things Star Trek, and how I REALLY thought he was great in his other sci fi show, Babylon 5. He just signed the picture and said "Next".

    Shit...

    Finally, the last speaker was on stage. Ethan Philips. THAT was the short, quirky bald guy that looked like George was, that we saw before the convention started. Ehhh... I wasn't a huge fan of the show at the time, let alone his character. Wutev's. But I was not ready for this guy. He was HILARIOUS. He peppered in comedy with his talk, gave a LOT of insight into the show, the writing, the actors, the franchise in general. He was AWESOME!!! Also, he was the guy that I stole the line "California- it's not the heat, it's the stupidity" from. Absolutely the BEST part of the day. But eventually, it wound down, and he started taking questions from the audience. This would be my last chance to get kicked out. Sitting behind me was this 350 pound behemoth. He was wearing a full-on Klingon costume, too... just like the language clowns from earlier. He was WELL over 6 feet tall. By comparison, I'm 5'10" and about 160 pounds. The hambeast stood up and started whining at Ethan Philips:

    WHY is the show always so CEREBRAL?? There's never any ACTION!!!
    Philips replied "That's actually a VERY good question! We're not really supposed to talk about this, but in the next season, starting in a few weeks, we're heading into a part of space that has an enemy you are VERY familiar with. A BIG enemy. There will be more action than you've ever seen before on the show!"
    But the show is sooooo CEREBRAL! THERE'S JUST NOT ENOUGH AAAAACTION!!!!
    Philips stayed cool and said "Well, like I said, in a few weeks, there's going to be SO much action, you're going to love it. And you are hearing it here first. This is supposed to be kept under wraps and..."

    BUT THE SHOW IS SOOOOO CEREBRAL AND...

    OK, this was it. My last chance. And I'll probably end up in the hospital over this.

    I stood up, turned around, looked up to the hulking Klingon cosplayer and shouted at him as loud as I could... and I can shout really loud when needed...

    HE ANSWERED YOUR QUESTION. SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!!!

    The room became absolutely quiet. There was a pause that seemed to stretch a really long time. The hamplanet actually averted his eyes, sat down, and shut up. I really expected him to take a swing at me or something. Or at least have the event staff come over and escort me out. But... nothing. I sat back down, Ethan Philips took more questions and then it was time for the autographs. By now, I'd taken a shine to the guy, but after Keonig being a total dick to me and after my encounter with the fat Klingon, I was a bit nervous talking to him. But, it was eventually my turn and Philips has this big grin on his face and starts actually talking to me. Not just fan service, but talk talk. He said eventually that I reminded him of a comedian he knew in California... I said "I hope that's a good thing!" He said, yes, it's a very good thing. We talked for a good 10 minutes as the people in line were getting very restless. I said it was really nice meeting him and he said the same. As I was walking away, the gargantuan Klingon had his turn. Mr. Philips just signed the picture and said...

    "Next"
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  8. #6508
    MisterX's Avatar
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    Re: The P.W.T.F.Y.W.A.M.S.S.L. Thread

    LOL very nice Denny

  9. #6509
    Time 2 Play DigitalDD's Avatar
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    Re: The P.W.T.F.Y.W.A.M.S.S.L. Thread

    So just like Ethan Phillips does a spot on Takei, Brent Spiner does a spot on Patrick Stewart. And both do it at conventions.

    Everything old is new again.

  10. #6510
    C-57D VincentVega's Avatar
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    Re: The P.W.T.F.Y.W.A.M.S.S.L. Thread

    That's the longest tl;dr post I ever actually read. And, what's even better, I read it in Tug Benson's voice.
    DennyCrane likes this.

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