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Thread: Twas the Round before Christmas - Counter-Strike: Source Poem

  1. #1
    Interplanetary Ninja Assassin yankeeDEUCE's Avatar
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    Twas the Round before Christmas - Counter-Strike: Source Poem

    'Twas the round before Christmas and all through Assault
    No one was stirring and it was all my fault
    I was crouched inside with my AWP
    Ready to shoot at all I did see

    My terrorist friends were up by the vent
    Trying to follow the orders I sent
    The CTs were outside, biding their time
    I reloaded my gun and all seemed quite fine

    When all of a sudden right up in the sky
    I spied a red figure, and it seemed to fly
    "A skin cheat!!" I cried and checked his ID
    (I had already set air_accelerate 3)

    A quick press of tab made me get up and bolt
    Saint Nick had arrived and was armed with a Colt
    Somebody said "FFS this sux0rs"
    "I'm not gonna play with you cheating ****ers"

    Go go go go, I cried, You take the point!!
    I'm not letting Santa get into this joint.
    But he swooped down outside and landed with ease
    Within four or five seconds he raped the CTs.

    A guy from my team ran out the back door
    But one headshot later he was slumped on the floor.
    Somebody else joined me on the ramp
    The only way to win at this point was camp.

    The blur right in front of me couldn't be faster
    This Santa fag was a bunnyhopping bastard
    The friend to my left crouched down on his knee
    Only to get a face full of H.E..

    I ran for the vent and avoided a spray
    (although normally I would consider this ghey)
    Crawling inside I could hear a moaning
    The last T alive, and this Santa was 0wning

    I then heard a clang, a grenade thrown at me!!
    After the blast I was on 1HP.
    I got onto the roof and saw elves, and it seemed
    A fairly good time to shout "FFS teams!!"

    I pulled out my deagle and killed two or three
    But good old Saint Nicholas was gaining on me
    Another few shots and the last elf was dead
    But Santa was there with his Colt to my head

    My last clip was spent, and I had spied a MAC
    But then Father Christmas pulled out his black sack
    A parcel he took and threw over to me
    I switched to my knife and I hacked it with glee

    A shiny new Para I found wrapped inside
    I let out a laugh and my eyes opened wide
    "Thanks Santa!!" I said, as he started to sing:
    "Merry Christmas to you, and to all a good ping!!"

    Jawbone Collector in Chief
    yankeeDEUCE.com


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  2. #2
    The Tux Teck's Avatar
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    nice!!
    "Teck will be working on God's forum" -VincentVega

    "...and I like killing zombies and Cap'n Crunch. you put those two together and you've got one LETHAL-ASS good time combo" -DanFortH

    "teck is the noobest leet guy I've ever met" -CoffeeShark

  3. #3
    The Real Joe DarqHelmet's Avatar
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    SICK SICK little man YD


  4. #4
    Fragged Mchief's Avatar
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    sweet motheer of god u sure know how too rhyme yankee deuce ....lol!:eek:

  5. #5
    Hogbitch Sleepy's Avatar
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    very ,very funny y2. enjoyed it!!

  6. #6
    The Tux Teck's Avatar
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    I say again......

    NICE
    "Teck will be working on God's forum" -VincentVega

    "...and I like killing zombies and Cap'n Crunch. you put those two together and you've got one LETHAL-ASS good time combo" -DanFortH

    "teck is the noobest leet guy I've ever met" -CoffeeShark

  7. #7
    ącLK you're dead Relly's Avatar
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    ROFLMAO!!! HHAHAHAHAHAH NICE!

    I loved it. Almost makes me want to play at Assault.

  8. #8
    m00tini! wootini's Avatar
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    awesome!

  9. #9
    Nothing Special Demoralized's Avatar
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    That is awesome! Post of the month for me!
    Never look down on anybody unless you're helping him up. -
    Jesse Jackson
    -----------------------

    Quote Originally Posted by DennyCrane View Post
    You, sir, are a god damn idiot.
    Love, Denny.

  10. #10
    C-57D VincentVega's Avatar
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    rofl hilarious

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